Lana's Greatest Hits 2012

It's that time of year again!
"What time?" you ask, "The time for hot chocolate and sledding and mittens and scarves, and the reflection of lights on snow, and laughter and cheer?"
To which I'll respond, "No. But knock yourself out with all of that if that's what you're into. Also, that was a run-on sentence."

It's the time of year when I compile the best of the completely insane things that my child has said over the past 365 days and wrap them up in a pretty little package to gift to you for your delight. Just because. You're welcome.
In case you forgot, this is my 2011 edition.

I've been avoiding typing this out because last year's is going to be hard to top, but I'll give it a go! Why do I have to "top" anything, anyway? Let's just share a moment of hearty laughter together, deal? Hooray! Lana is as weird (cute) as ever...I'm pretty sure that's never going to change. And I really don't want it to! In fact, could we please just place a gigantic pause button on that crack in time and space and just keep her 7 forever? (Can you tell Ryan and I have been watching Dr. Who lately?). I'd be much obliged. And, in case you forgot who her father was, this riveting conversation I had with him the other day should jog your memory:

Me: Ry, could you get me more food?
Ry: Lana can do it. I'm decapitated.
Me: Your head got cut off? Or do you mean incapacitated?
Ry: That too.

So, in light of the impeccable genealogy from which she springs, it's no surprise she would come out with a few doozies. Enjoy!

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Lana: I feel like you're the big compartment building and Dad is just a building.
Me: What do you mean?
Lana: I honestly have no idea

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"Well, now that I see this pinkeye I don't like it at all. It looks like a crusty jungle in there."

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"I really don't like jazz. It's too 'hand-y' and 'finger-y' and makes me all **dramatic shudder**"- Lana, while trying to choose which dance class to take

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Lana: This guy on TV must be rich. He has everything I've ever wanted.
Me: Like what?
Lana: He has stairs in his house

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Me: So, do you want to save up for the Spanish "American Girl" doll?
Lana: Yeah, I mean I do, but how can I communicate with her?! I don't even speak Spanish. I speak Italian.
(Nope.)

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"I like baby cups. Don't judge me." - Lana, after requesting her juice a baby cup

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"It's raining clams and sea urchins out there"- Lana, during a storm

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"Hey, tomato face"- Lana, greeting me after my run

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"I'm on team chocolate"- Lana, siding with our African American friend during a football game.

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"God is like a big satellite dish and Satan is like a paper cut"
(I've spent a lot of time trying to figure this one out and I'm coming up empty, but for some reason it kind of makes sense)

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Fortune cookies are always a family favorite. Side bar- do you notice how they're not even fortunes AT ALL lately? They're just odd sayings, strange truths, and little life nuggets to sustain you while you're chowing down on some "not quite sweet enough" stale confection that you wind up regretting eating cause it wasn't worth the calories. Well I've noticed. And I don't know if I'm ok with it.

Me, reading my fortune cookie: "'Don't forget you are always on our minds"...haha..weird. Who's mind?
Lana: Probably the Chinese people

This would have been Lana's first choice for "first day of first grade" outfit. But, I managed to sway her in a slightly less "weirdest kid in the class" direction...consisting of just a few less fedoras. Although she does look fedorable in this look (see what I did there?)

I have to say though, my favorite of this year has got to be this little gem which, oddly enough, I'll take as a compliment:

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Me: I guess I should put some makeup on so I don't scare people.
Lana: You scare people when you put makeup on. You look like Darth Vader's wife or something.

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Oh, my little one. Don't ever change.
(and by 'don't ever change' I mean 'maybe modify the quirkiness slightly cause I'm not sure if the public is ready for TWO fedoras at once')





PS: Yes, for the 7 of you that viewed this right away, I initially titled it "Lana's Greatest Hits 2013"....so sue me. It's late and it's snowing out and blah blah blah....I do know it's 2012. I just asked a Mayan. Ok, thanks bye. 

A tribute

Everything is different now

I'm trying not to let myself feel

Fighting the fibers of fear

Still, it's forcing its way...

From toes to fingertips to shoulders to temples

It ripples through tendrils and shouts with my steps

Fear of unknown keeps a girl up at night

Fear of what's known is a much deeper fright

Darling children, I remember you laughing 

And I will never forget. 

Life will move in patterns and waves 

Circle around us in shapes and songs

In the curve of the trees

in the fiery sunsets 

On the sandy shores, breezes swirling 

Shifting tides

The world will move on

And with turning of seasons I promise I will never forget. 

Normal is nonexistent,

Pain takes the place of sane, inexplicably senseless, never the same.

Struggling for words. I will never forget.

I have a hope.

 A pinhole of light in a day filled with night

It's hard to remember when the world is in shadows

Still, it's forcing its way...

From toes to fingertips to shoulders to temples

It ripples through tendrils and shouts with my steps

A hope that is bright

Helps a girl sleep at night. 

Dedicated to all of those who lost loved ones in the Sandy Hook shooting.

And those of us who are still struggling with it all.
Ps. 147:3

Off-centered post

Procrastination. “They” say it’s one of the most desirable traits in a human being (They do not). I have truly mastered the art of procrastination. With years of practice and dedication I can skillfully move things to the back burner to the point where they get good, crusty, and burned (figuratively speaking). No amount of mixing or seasoning will remedy that. I’ve made peace with this “less than ideal" quality, but tend to feel bad when it affects others.  So, I’m stirring up the junk in the bottom of the pot and cracking down on this post I should have written 3 months ago. Thanks for your patience, Logan and Jimmy, at Eat A Duck. In my own defense, it did need some time to simmer (char?).  I mean, how do you effectively describe the creative genius behind one of the best breweries in the country?  And, in a prompt manner, at that? Impossible...

All of the gory details (hop swappin', 'shroom swoonin', ale & food pair-a-palooza) are here, at Eat A Duck, the best food blog I've ever had the pleasure of guest posting for. Thanks for having me, guys! 

Heeeere, fishy fishy...
Go! Read! Now!

A showering of the woodland ones!

My sister is having another baby!!! I say this with all of the delight that a loving twin and proud aunt can   muster up. I also say this with a good dose of relief, in the fact that she is producing the children in our family so that I don't have to....(I love my daughter like a fat kid loves cake...but I'm way too crazy to procreate again...) 

This is their second child, so I wanted to do something simple for her. A small gathering of family and close friends to celebrate the new little critter, who is scurrying our way in January. The theme was "Woodland Baby Bash" and I didn't go overboard at all. And by "didn't go overboard at all" I mean "flung myself overboard with wreckless abandon". Thanks to some crafty friends and a beautiful apartment from the early 1900s (which used to be an old parachute factory, fun fact), the scene was set.

Enter beautiful friends.
Enter Celtic music.
Enter a table, spread with woodland delights of all shapes and sizes.
Enter my lovely sister and her cutest little baby bump.

In this case, I will let the pictures and captions speak for themselves. This post is rather picture heavy...(understatement- picture obese) I gathered inspiration from different sources (Pinterest, friends, the woodland wonderland living in my brain) and we came up with the following Earthy extravaganza!

My mom found the sweetest fabric at Ikea and these little stuffed hedgehogs! 
So naturally my friend Maddie and I turned them into the party banner!

"Hi. I'm the cutest squeaky hedgehog holding a strawberry you've ever seen in your life. You're welcome."

Terrariums housed little butterflies, courtesy of friends Laurel and Cassandra

Madeline and I finishing set-up. Her vintage home provided the perfect backdrop! 

The table is set!

Cupcakes were my personal project! (one of 4,000 projects??)

Just love toadstools. These are dark chocolate cake topped with a cream cheese icing 
and dusted with red sugar!

Stump from my backyard made the perfect cupcake stand!

 

Other delectable treats included......but not limited to....

Owl cake pops, thanks to Deanna

Bonnie came up with the sweetest little tree stump cake, topped with birds, bugs, and grass!

Tree stump flower arrangements

         

Beth and I made milk chocolate butterflies, ladybugs, and frogs. 
And peanut butter bear paw lollipops as favors.

My sister is literally the hardest person on the planet to surprise. So, naturally our scheming was all for naught because she figured out that this was her shower. But, she fakes a smile with the best of them (we have something in common there). "Guys...I'm SO. SURPRISED. I had NO. IDEA." -Lauren

Our friends all played along with headdresses of every sort! I'm obsessed with making hair garlands right now. I picked up some crafting wire from AC Moore and found the most natural floral arrangements I could. Mixed them with some feathers, boxwood from my own garden (a healthy dash of lunacy) and voila! 

"I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing"- Daria 
(via my friend Bethanee, who reminded me of this quote)

My sister and I in our homemade garlands

Many lovely friends sporting their own earthy garlands and hairpieces!

Bethy's handmade owl mask

Ironman is delighted with the flowers I adorned her with

(Yes, Ironman, the cat, is a girl)

Bon Bon <3

We made a tree of advice, where friends could leave quirky sayings, words of wisdom, or whatever their hearts desired. Some of them were quite funny...like my sister in law, Bonnie's helpful hint...

 Friends, music, laughs, feathers flowers, creatures, food, food, food, food food, and food...Our signature drink was simple spiced cider with rum (or without) and good old fashioned wine, which flows like water in our little corner of NJ. Gift opening and adorable friends/family...

Lolo enjoys these little MukLuks 

(mukluk catalog modeling in her future for sure)

Model Cassandra and a gaggle of adorable guests

Party cuties

My beautiful sister and my soon to be niece or nephew

Wooden toys!

Bathroom photo sesh

Bathroom confessionals

Sweetest gift from Sam and Maddie- handmade teepee! What every mom needs! 
(no seriously I'm jealous, I want one! Now!)

I am so happy for my sister and her already sweet little family. I can't wait to be an aunt once again. Oh, what fun we'll have!! I get my baby fix throughout the dead of winter...perfect timing! Can't wait to spoil this new child (meaning lots of food I'm not supposed to feed him/her, riling up, singing, dancing, playing, throwing in the air, trapeeze swinging, sword swallowing, flame throwing, fairy hunting, and the like...) with love. 

Congratulations Lolo!! 

All done....what now?