I was going about my daily activities (over-documenting everything, under-cleaning everything...) and that was when I heard it. It was an uptempo jingle blaring from the glowing orb of brain-melting entertainment in the corner of the living room. "Everybody say cheese! It's funner!". So, (being the word nerd that I am) I had to stop, take pause, and listen again. And there it was again, like an enthusiastic anthem of stupidity... "Say cheese! It's funner!". This horrific abomination of proper grammar came from a Chuck E. Cheese's commercial. That's right. This is a commercial that targets children. The main character, a pizza loving mouse, has apparently morphed into an 80s rockstar with a penchant for murdering the English language. I had to stop for a second and shake my head side to side just to make sure I didn't somehow forget the word "funner" in my arsenal of adjectives, and adverbs, and pronouns (oh my!).... But, unfortunately it wasn't in my brain because the word doesn't exist. Now, I don't consider myself a Chuck E. Cheese's aficionado but I can tell you I do not have a fondness for their campaigns. The last one, "Where a kid can be a kid", was pretty much the marketing equivalent to "It is what it is" (Which happens to be simultaneously the dumbest and most frustrating phrase ever coined. But, I digress because that could be a whole post on its own...mental note...) Of course my kid can be a kid. Because my kid is a kid. And, although this frustrated me, I could see what they were trying to do with that one. There is a certain merit in letting a child flourish in an environment where they can be child-like. Heck, I'll take my kid for overpriced pizza and games for a day and walk away happy that I let her get her energy out and just "be a kid". I think they actually still use that catch phrase in their advertisements. But, "Say cheese, it's funner!" takes this company to a whole new level of frustration for me. It seriously makes me want to boycott the entire franchise. Now, I have to say, I may be the only person in the country who has never taken my child to a Chuck E. Cheese's establishment. I wish it was because we had some sort of moral dilemma against going, but seriously there isn't a place close enough to us and we have never had the desire to go. However, I may not want to ever visit after this marketing catastrophe. It's bad enough our kids think in "text speak". Do we really have to make up words in our advertisements too? We always talk about the "dumbing down of America" . Well, this is just another notch on the old belt. And, while I understand that the television should not be responsible for teaching our children proper grammar, I'd like to think this company would feel mildly responsible for at least speaking correctly since their target audience is ready and willing to absorb whatever is thrown at them. (Apparently I was exposed to some marketing featuring "run on sentences" when I was in my formative years) I guess I'm giving them too much credit.
"Language murdering pizza land" isn't the only company to frustrate me with their willy nilly use of words. In fact every time I see an Apple ad that says "Think Different." my brain automatically adds a "ly". I guess this is a bit of a paradox because if I'm thinking differently then I should be ok with "Think Different." but I'm not. So I guess I'm not such a different thinker after all. (If you followed that on the first read, you get a gold star.) If a company like Apple can get away with artistic license when it comes to grammar (And, yes...I own an iPhone...) I guess I can cut this mouse some slack. He just annoys me with his little guitar, catchy jingle, and money hungry ways. At least he could speak correctly. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. "Fun" is a good enough word on it's own, isn't it? It happens to be the name of one of my favorite bands and also the title of the award winning (nope) Spongebob Squarepants hit "F.U.N." (F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me...)
As I was typing out this blog post, the commercial just came on again. This conversation transpired:
Me: Lana, you know "funner" isn't a word, right?
Lana: "Say cheese, it's funner...umm...funner? Fun?"
Me: It should be "Say cheese, it's more fun!" or "It's fun!"
Lana: You're right. Funner doesn't sound that cool.
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I agree wholeheartedly. You know what's the coolest? Not talking like an idiot. This whole mess has made me want to stay away from the cheesy mouse forever. (...or maybe just stop in and play Guitar Hero and run out real quick??) Although, I just found out that they serve beer and wine. And, while I don't make it a habit to drink before noon, an 11:00 AM Chuck E. Cheese's glass of wine may be just what I need to get through that experience.
Now, excuse me while I go finish making dinner. Tonight it will be delicious-er and nutritious-er than ever. No tokens required!
(No mice or apples were harmed in the making of this post so I appreciate not being sued for my opinions. Thanks a fundle bundle! Making fun is funner than being serious.)
