Saturday, December 29, 2012

Lana's Greatest Hits 2012

It's that time of year again!
"What time?" you ask, "The time for hot chocolate and sledding and mittens and scarves, and the reflection of lights on snow, and laughter and cheer?"
To which I'll respond, "No. But knock yourself out with all of that if that's what you're into. Also, that was a run-on sentence."

It's the time of year when I compile the best of the completely insane things that my child has said over the past 365 days and wrap them up in a pretty little package to gift to you for your delight. Just because. You're welcome.
In case you forgot, this is my 2011 edition.

I've been avoiding typing this out because last year's is going to be hard to top, but I'll give it a go! Why do I have to "top" anything, anyway? Let's just share a moment of hearty laughter together, deal? Hooray! Lana is as weird (cute) as ever...I'm pretty sure that's never going to change. And I really don't want it to! In fact, could we please just place a gigantic pause button on that crack in time and space and just keep her 7 forever? (Can you tell Ryan and I have been watching Dr. Who lately?). I'd be much obliged. And, in case you forgot who her father was, this riveting conversation I had with him the other day should jog your memory:

Me: Ry, could you get me more food?
Ry: Lana can do it. I'm decapitated.
Me: Your head got cut off? Or do you mean incapacitated?
Ry: That too.

So, in light of the impeccable genealogy from which she springs, it's no surprise she would come out with a few doozies. Enjoy!

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Lana: I feel like you're the big compartment building and Dad is just a building.
Me: What do you mean?
Lana: I honestly have no idea

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"Well, now that I see this pinkeye I don't like it at all. It looks like a crusty jungle in there."

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"I really don't like jazz. It's too 'hand-y' and 'finger-y' and makes me all **dramatic shudder**"- Lana, while trying to choose which dance class to take

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Lana: This guy on TV must be rich. He has everything I've ever wanted.
Me: Like what?
Lana: He has stairs in his house

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Me: So, do you want to save up for the Spanish "American Girl" doll?
Lana: Yeah, I mean I do, but how can I communicate with her?! I don't even speak Spanish. I speak Italian.
(Nope.)

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"I like baby cups. Don't judge me." - Lana, after requesting her juice a baby cup

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"It's raining clams and sea urchins out there"- Lana, during a storm

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"Hey, tomato face"- Lana, greeting me after my run

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"I'm on team chocolate"- Lana, siding with our African American friend during a football game.

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"God is like a big satellite dish and Satan is like a paper cut"
(I've spent a lot of time trying to figure this one out and I'm coming up empty, but for some reason it kind of makes sense)

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Fortune cookies are always a family favorite. Side bar- do you notice how they're not even fortunes AT ALL lately? They're just odd sayings, strange truths, and little life nuggets to sustain you while you're chowing down on some "not quite sweet enough" stale confection that you wind up regretting eating cause it wasn't worth the calories. Well I've noticed. And I don't know if I'm ok with it.

Me, reading my fortune cookie: "'Don't forget you are always on our minds"...haha..weird. Who's mind?
Lana: Probably the Chinese people



This would have been Lana's first choice for "first day of first grade" outfit. But, I managed to sway her in a slightly less "weirdest kid in the class" direction...consisting of just a few less fedoras. Although she does look fedorable in this look (see what I did there?)

I have to say though, my favorite of this year has got to be this little gem which, oddly enough, I'll take as a compliment:

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Me: I guess I should put some makeup on so I don't scare people.
Lana: You scare people when you put makeup on. You look like Darth Vader's wife or something.

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Oh, my little one. Don't ever change.
(and by 'don't ever change' I mean 'maybe modify the quirkiness slightly cause I'm not sure if the public is ready for TWO fedoras at once')





PS: Yes, for the 7 of you that viewed this right away, I initially titled it "Lana's Greatest Hits 2013"....so sue me. It's late and it's snowing out and blah blah blah....I do know it's 2012. I just asked a Mayan. Ok, thanks bye. 


5 comments:

  1. Is team "Chocolate" aka team "Jenks?"
    I remember the time she spoke for the family and said that she was pretty sure she could "work something out" regarding visiting FL... I still have faith that this will happen.

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    1. I forgot about that one! Yes, of course our 7 year old would be the family spokesperson. She's trying to work out some time off with the boss....
      Yep, Jeremy is "team chocolate".

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  2. I think I love her so much because I have one at home...just a bit older...

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    Replies
    1. "The only ones for me are the mad ones".....yay for weird kids! ;)

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  3. "A little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men."

    ReplyDelete